Friday, June 5, 2009

Wicked Princess - Final Challenge!!!

This challenge was about Lust, Secret wishes and desires....
I thought and thought about this and honestly, there is only one thing i secretly wish for...
Im not into world travel, or material possessions....
Im not into having a "thing" for any celebs or totally engrosed in a fictional charactor...
But i do secretly wish for something....
A grandchild...
If i was younger, it would be another baby, but im too old and Stu's had the job done, so its not possible for me, so my wish is now in the hands of my kids...
Scary Concept....

This is my layout
"Grandmamma"
The reason behind this secret wish is a bit of a deep one.
When i had both my kids, my father distroyed their early months for me.
Ruined them!!
Because of his selfish actions and nasty words, he sent me into a spiralling post natal depression the day i came out of hospital. it was so traumatic for me and one i will never ever forgive him for. Even though i did enjoy my son, i just couldnt pick myself up from the depression.
All i wanted was my mum, as all new mums do and he selfishly tore her away from me in the nastiess most selfish uncaring way you can imagine!! Literally tore her away the day i came out of hospital!!!
I was determined not the have him around with Emelia. And i didnt. I didnt pine for my mum, as i new she would bring that prick with her and i didnt want him near me or my baby. I wanted to enjoy this baby without the shit that he caused.
Everything went along fine for the first three months, but the bastard always found a way to make it about him. He ended up in Newcastle hospital and we were told he was going to die. I had this new baby, trying to breast feed and being the big sister, i had to be the one to support the family. it was so hard for me.
We were told to discuss transporting his body back to Port Macquarie and burial, finding the money for all this... It was so traumatic when i had this little baby to support...

So of course, my milk dried up (I didnt realise) My daughter started crying for the first time in three months and she didnt stop. We had to stay in a cruddy pub (We were broke) there were bugs in the bed. Emelia had to sleep in her pram and she was out of her routine that i had tried so hard to get her into (So i wouldnt go through a depression again!!)
But that bastard distroyed it all again!!!
And do you know what??
The prick had the hide to survive!!

You'd think he would have tried to make amense with his god given gift of more time on this earth.. But he didnt. He just got worse and more demanding, abusive and he fought with me at every opportunity he got.
I hated that man and he distroyed my time with my babies..
This time when a baby comes along he wont be here and it can be enjoyed without him picking fights and abusing anyone!!!

And on that note,
the card theme for this month is
Love!!
Now this is the very last challenge for the Wicked Princess 7 Deadly Sins Competition...
So dont forgot to vote for your fav layouts....
You can visit them here
and email your votes in.

1 comment:

Lisa A said...

Jodi,
your secret is you would love to be a Grandma and I would love to be a mother...I think you would make the most amazing grandmother just like you make the most amazing and best friend....
You know if I ever have any children i will let you be their adopted grandma..

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