Saturday, August 23, 2008

Some show and tell

Here is my layout for the 123 challenge this month. I dont get to do them that often, but last night i wanted to do something for me rather than for DT. I suppose thats what happens when you have so many DT comitments.

Anyway, this one is "For Eternity".

And closer...

I have been busy with functions today too....
I loved this colour combo of pink and green.....
Its for a 30th at the Bowling Club



Love this photo with all the balloons lined up...

This next one was for an 80th at the Golf Club...

Then a 40th Balmain theme party.....
So thats my day so far.. Gonna go and iron now and then wash my very dirty car tomorrow. I have to go to Port Macquaire next week. I really want to see my little Bro Gary and Kel, but i dont want to see the reason we are going....

My other younger brother is dying we were told yeaterday. Its very sad. He is an alcoholic, he has known no other way of life. He drank his first beer at 4 with my alcoholic father, and hes been drinking ever since. His body is now broken down. After so much time. money and tears, we his family have had to take a step back to save ourselves from the mesery he is causing himself and his own family. We tried and tried, but at the end of the day, if the person doesnt want to help themselves, there is a big nothing we can do about it. No amount of anything will help him except for him.

My father died a miserble death from years and years of alcaholism. He wrecked our family. He distroyed any hope my brother might have had for a normal life and i blame him all the way. I am so angry that he died before he got to see the damage he caused us kids and mum. I managed to escape that life style from sheer determination of will. I never wanted that for myself, i always strived for something better for myself. I saw my friends lives and their families and homes and i wanted that for me, not what i had. An abusive alcaholic father and a very nervous mum.

I escaped it and i dont want to go back to it. For this reason i resent that i have to go to Port to see him. I didnt chose this for me and i dont want a part of it. Ive moved on from that after so many years of very hard work. I dont want to be dragged into something was never my choice for myself. But i will take Mum to see him, as he is her son and always will be. But it will be so very painfull fo her....

I cant believe policians. Drugs are illigal, and yet smoking pot everyday doesnt do the kind of damage that drinking everyday does. And not only does it distroy the person, its distoys everything and everyone around them. My brothers kids have grown up a mess - but when i think about it, no more so than what i did. My brother has lost all of his family through this. his kids wont talk to him anymore, the mother of his kids wont talk to him, his own mother cant have a relationship with him, he has distoyed his realtionship with his best mate and little brother, and also his big sister who for every day of my life has tried to care for his welfare... He has no money, no food and an empty flat he can barely afford. No car, no mode of transportation bar his legs which are now non functioning. His brain function is minimal through drink. He cant add 2 and 2 anymore or spell his own name. This man is 38 years old.... And he wont reach 39. How bitterly sad and wasteful of a life. This bloke was the most decent guy you would meet. Do anything for anyone, his kids and niece and nephew adored him at one stage. He was always full of life and excitement. Pig chasing, fishing, typical bloky stuff.... and then the alcaholism really kicked in and that was it... our little brother died then and was replaced by this unrecognisable person. Its so sad...... And so very very sad that no matter how much money we throw at him, no matter how much love and support, at the end of the day nothing means anything unless he chooses to and acts on it himself. Addiction is a dreadful thing.....

6 comments:

kerry said...

Jodi that is very sad but i can so see your point if you cant help yourself no-one else can.Good luck with your trip.I will be thinking of you.take care Kerry xxx

Brenda said...

I'm so sorry you and your mum have to make this trip...... I'll be thinking of you both. xxx

Lisa A said...

Hey Jodi,
If you need someone to talk to you just call me anytime of the day or night, this is a sad sad story....

Lisa A said...

Hey Jodi,
If you need someone to talk to you just call me anytime of the day or night, this is a sad sad story....

Amanda said...

oh jodi, I'm so sad for you that you need to be dealing with this. Hope you can make it through and get some closure.

Jackie said...

Our thoughts are with you and your family Jod xx

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