Saturday, January 20, 2007

My Life has come full circle - Part 2

Anyway, I left this place on the suggestion of my doctor as i was suffering a nervous breakdown. The breaking point was that i had to go to outpatients the week i left after coping yet further abuse as i was suffering from extreme high bloodpressure and on the verge of having a stroke.

During my three years at this place my weight sky rocketed also to the point that no life insurance company would insure me.

So l left. No notice, just walked out the door and didnt go back. After i left the abuse continued with letters and the chairman of the board actually knocked on my door one day and actually handed me a letter stating that they would not be held responsible for my health issues and accusing me of theft!!

After going through the whole workers comp thing..... the main focus being to get me re-employed as once i am employed again they can wipe there hands of me. I didnt want to work again and was suffering dreadfully mentally.

I saw that there was a Balloon Business for sale and bought it as it would make me get out of the house, i didnt have to take orders from anyone and it would keep my office skills up and be a deversion from my problems. The doctor advised that I dont as it would effect my workers comp. I didnt care - I dropped any claims and worked for myself.

I really needed some form of councelling to get through what had happended and ended up going to the most wonderful angel of mercy who helped me so much. I was diagnosed with cronic depressive disorder and cronic anxiety disorder and an undiagnosed case of post natal depression 13 years after the birth of my baby. Ontop of these there was also post traumatic stress due to the work environment and the death of my father (Of which they would only give me 2 days of work to travel 600kms to organise & attend the funeral and come home).

It took 3 months of weekly sessions, then another 3 months of fortnightly getting back to monthly visits for 12 months to get my mind working again. I would have anxiety attacks all the time. Even to answer the phone - let alone leave the house. My poor husband and kids really did it tough for a while with me, but eventaully all the mental facalties started functioning relatively normally. i made heaps of changes in my life, but still couldnt face the prospect of going back to work.

After spending 12 months on my brain, i thought i could at least give my body a go too. So i signed up with Jenny Craig and began regaining my body back. Its been about 15 slow months, but have lost over 30 kilos now still with a few to go, but in getting my body back i regained heaps of confidence in myself.

A part-time job became availalbe and i applied for it. Having not applied for a job in over 6 years!! I got to the testing part which was about 6 tests. two maths an english and numerous personality tests. This was going to be my down fall. Was i really ready for this.

I was called in for an interview and told i got the highest marks in all the tests by heaps and my personality test was great for the job. The interview also involved doing a sales presentation!!! talking infront of people!! Oh No!!! But after doing it, the interviewers applauded me!! how exciting. Then the great news is that i got the job.

I feel i have now come full circle from being completely un emloyable to getting a job on my merits. Im so proud of myself. And because ive lost alot of weight, i felt comfortable in my body when the interviewers were looking at me while doing the presentation.

I so nearly didnt even go to the testing as i had a bit of an anxiety attack and felt i wasnt ready. But i made myslef go.. and i am so pleased i did!!

So theres my secret!! This has been my personal journey. It doesnt sound like a big deal compared to what some people suffer, but it was a major thing for and i am so proud that that part of my life is now behind me. My balloon business will continue...and my weddings, but i also have this other job now to help with the income which is great!!

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