I wanted to do something rebellious for my 40th....
Tattoo...... nah, too painful.....
Havce an affair....... nah, too much hard work!!!
I'll dye my hair pink.... only a little bit of it though... Im not REALLY rebellious, just a little bit rebellious!!!
So yesterday when i ws having my foils done, I had four pink fudge foils done...... I think it looks pretty cool... man.... LOL
I also had my nails done again for my party. I had hot pink tips last month and alhtough they looked nice, they werent really me...This time we went for a softer pink tips with the brighter patterns.... this is much more me!!!
Here is a layout i have done..... This is three challenges in one...1. CHallenge 7 in the celebrate 2008 at CyberScraps is Insecurities...... so thats what this layout is about....
2. Challenge 2 is the 123 Challenge being black and orange.......
3. CyberScraps layout - all the items on this layout come from the groovy shop Cyberscraps, that have some really trendy DTs!!! LOL...... What else am i supposed to say!!! LOL
"Dont Look At Me"
Whenever i ahve lost saignificant amounts of weight, i become very aware of getting "Checked out". People "being normal people" would think this statement is a very conceated thing to say, but you think about it for a minute...When your grosly overweight, your invisibale... its seams the more room your body takes up on the side walk, the more invisible you become.... No one looks at you or considers you, or thinks anything about you...... No one cares... Your just some bug fat ugly person...
So, when yourve gone through life being invisible, it becomes really really obvious when guys are checking you out... sometimes they will even say things or make sexual gestures...
WHen yourve been invisble for most of your life and then all of a sudden blokes are acting in this manner - its is very disturbing and hugely upsetting and leads to a bit of instability.
The only was I can control that is to become invisible again.... which i have done now maybe 5 tines.... Its the only way i know of to stop it happening...
But its not good for me.
As i have lost weight, it has started to happen again and i tried to regain control by regaining weight.... i put on 10 kilos....
But i am determined this time to not let it effect me. Just get over it and enjoy that people are noticing me now and im not invisble anymore. Life is so much more exciting when your noticed and given consieration...
SO this is what this layout is refering to...
Has anyone else had a similar problem?? It would be really interesting to share other stories with people in a similar situation...
So thats it for today...
Seeya tomorrow
Jodi
5 comments:
I an so hear you Jodi!!
I have 100s of stories to tell.
I dont want to talk about it here but if you wanna talk email me or facebook me lol
m
Babe, believe me, you're not alone!
I remember hiding the way I looked a lot in highschool. On formal night, it was the first time anyone had seen me in a dress. One of my best male friends was so focussed on my cleavage over dinner he kept stabbing his cheek with his spoon and dribbling gravy down his face!
Because I have a large chest, as soon as I do anything to show it off, I get stared at. Sometimes that's kinda fun, but mostly it makes me nervous. Hence the fashion statements I make lol! I guess I'm kinda lucky, though, in that no one seems to really notice the rest of me...
love ya!!
Eep, forgot to mention the most important thing... your hair and your nails look fantastic! Very rebellious, very cool!
That all makes sooo much sense...
My problem is when im overweight I lose my confidence. When IM skinny I feel like I matter in the world and when Im not I dont. Even in situations shopping and with my work ( hence why i havent done many photo shoots lately).....
Looking forward to saturday
Kaysie
Jodi- you have been tagged.. go over to my blog to find out more...
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